thoughtfulwish

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Ready to Fall?

First, a huge thank you to my friend Joe who took these photos, and the Verb hotel for always being excellent hosts, with very delicious cocktails!

Ok I haven’t poured my heart out in a while… so prepare yourself for a long post

I’ve mentioned before here and there, that I’ve had some major summertime blues. I was getting over an amazing relationship: no fighting, cheating, boredom, any of that. The only scandalous thing was we kept dating, yes dating - not just hookups and late night texts - for a while after “the breakup” until he officially ended it. All breakups since this one, haven’t felt this way — is it because it ended cordially (as one could)? Or is he officially “the one who got away”? I feel like I write more about heartbreak than happiness, is that just because it’s more interesting to read and write about?

I’ve been feeling like that Orca whale who carried around her dead calf for weeks. I’m not going to lie, I sat hopeful (more so desperate) that call would come; spoiler, it didn’t. Also, it felt wrong to date, I was forcing myself and in case that call did come, I didn’t want to mess up any possible chances. But, I just put myself back out there. I just started to date someone new, and I’m timid about everything. We’ve only had 3 dates so far, and everything is going really well. So when do I self-sabotage? He’s checking off my grocery list of wants and needs, but moving on also means letting go.  He’s from France, and very sweet. I get to show him around the city that I love, and he gets to teach me new French words that I cannot pronounce. We both love Lord of the Rings, have flat feet, so he’s Pippin and I’m Merry—and the nerdom journey begins.

Before the French Boy, I’ve only been on one-off-dates since the breakup: the dog poop, the Nazi, and just one really nice guy (just not my type). Anyone I was meeting I felt I either had no chemistry with, or they just weren’t Stephen. But I was hating that I was staying in, refusing to go out, choosing to eat a pound of chocolate, rather than moving on. Shouldn’t I be sweating on a dance floor getting a revenge bod?! It was obvious from my basic internet stalking he was going out and had moved on—so why hadn’t I?

It’s funny, with girl friendships, I fall immediately. That girl is my new bestie. We’re going to braid hair, until I get disappointed, and realize maybe I should have bought the basic bracelet than the BFF+EVA necklace. In romantic relationships, I’m timid, I refuse to fall in love at first, and then once I do fall, I fall hard. I want to eat, sleep, breathe that person in—turns out, that’s when they stop liking me. I want to scream, you fought so hard to break down my wall and come in. WELCOME! What you don’t want to stay? No doggy bag? Just doggy style? Ok.

But who knows what’s in store… “Oui shall see!”



Besides my love life rant, here’s a fall look that’s great for when it gets chilly or when it remains 80º. I just switched shoes and the color tee, and 2 awesome outfits! My favorite fall colors right now are burgundy, olive green, and navy. You can never go wrong with that combo. Also…. THESE HEELS!

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