My blog just turned 3! We're past the terrible 2's.... thank god, because leading up to year 3 was the worst. I want to open up to you guys, but it's also really hard to do on here. I view my blog as this positive outlet, to escape and joke; no one goes to a fashion blog to get serious. But lately I've been really frustrated reading some of my own favorite blogs and getting mad at how "perfect" their lives are. How some of them are now starting families and wearing cute maternity outfits, and having matching braided hair styles with their daughters. It gets me depressed and angry, because that's all I ever wanted: this "Pinterest perfect" life, and name my kids after To Kill a Mockingbird (we all know who I'm referring to right? cough cough Barefoot Blonde). But how are their lives so perfect? Do any of these "perfect people" have really shitty days? Are these people still in love or just really good at posing?
I know I haven't gone into too much detail about this year, but I think it's time to stop hinting and just come out very clean and easy. I'm a "happy" blogger, and my life is nowhere near perfect. Each year I go to Oktoberfest in Harvard Square, and it's also where I started my blog, with my ex husband. This blog was something that brought us closer together, yet also drove us apart. There were days when blogging was so much fun and all our shots would come out great, then there were days where we'd yell at one another, and he would literally walk away and threaten to drive off and strand me. I watched my marriage slowly fall apart. I watched my best friend walk out like I meant nothing, and I did not handle it well (still really hurt). My blog anniversary will forever be bittersweet, but it's something I still love deeply. And hey... right now it's lasting longer than the marriage, so win for the blog!
I met my ex when I was really young, and I grew with him, but he did not grow with me. He's 11 years older than me, so he had done his growing, he knew what he wanted out of adulthood, but I was still figuring it out. When we first got together, I was still interning, and no real idea what I wanted to do, but as I became more successful, and more ambitious, he began to resent me and feared I'd leave him in the dust (jokes on me... because damnnnn it's dusty here). Of course that's the short and sweet explanation. All in all, divorce makes you feel like a huge failure, even if it's what you wanted, and especially if you relied on that person so much, like how I did with this blog.
This blog would be nowhere without my ex, so I'm very thankful, but it's difficult to keep up the motivation since his absence. Also, VERY difficult not to blast him and share every single dirty secret of his, because I have the social platform to do so. (Yes, I can be vengeful) When he left, one of the MANY thoughts I had was: I can never blog again. There are times it feels wrong to share my newfound happiness in moving and dating, like he still has ownership of this site, and I'm openly trying to rub it in his face. A lot of bloggers use their significant others to take their photos, and these are people who are not skilled photographers, but people who love someone unconditionally and takes joy in helping them succeed. It takes a special kind of person to work in this kind of relationship. These are people who have truly taken a back seat, and let the other person shine, which is a really hard role. Recently, the person I'm dating now just took photos of me (my last post here), and I could feel myself immediately get nervous. It was a fun activity, but I made it a point to not get too in depth with giving "pointers" on how to shoot, even though he was asking for them. I'm extremely lucky to have friends, and a boyfriend, who still wants me to succeed and help, who doesn’t see me as some charity case.
So cheers to 3 years! Thank you ex husband, you suck, but you made me look good. Thank you friends for taking time out of your days to do photos for me. Thank you to my boyfriend who gives me all the butterflies. And Thank you readers for staying with me on this crazy adventure. I can't wait to share what brings me joy this year..... like this dress! No seriously, I'm really short, so "shirt dresses" literally look like a baggy shirts on me, plus I'm curvy so they never fall right, and this dress is hot. Thank you dress for making my butt look good! More about the dress below:
I had to get a medium in this dress, even though my measurements suggested to get a small. My hips at the fullest part are at 37/38" and it's still a little snug. I'm going to have it tapered in on the sides to be a bit more fitted. The problem with being petite and curvy, "loose" fits, never appear like that. Tall narrow women have that carless chic look, but if I try to wear something loose fitting, it will partially "fit" because the curves of my body will hit the edges of the fabric, and instead of a "falling" look, the fabric will be pulled tight which is what you want to avoid.
Get the dress here: